You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
