You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
