she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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