Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
