I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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