i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
