he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
