I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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