i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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