One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize