i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Randomize
