I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
