this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize