My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
