3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
God I need to hump something, right now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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