thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
