the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
