before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
