i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize