omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
