She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
