That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize