I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
