She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
