Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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