one might say we're banned from that church
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
