Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
