I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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