Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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