Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
