ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
