You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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