Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize