you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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