Plan B is the new Plan A
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
