hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
