Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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