Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I will be naked everywhere
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
