dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
smell my finger.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize