i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize