You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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