scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i've created a new STD.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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