i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
