awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
