But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
