he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
