his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
