you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
