Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
