Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
