I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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