we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
