do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it because I queefed?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
