Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
