he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
