so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
