I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
