where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
